Dublin 1985

So I was going to write about something else, but then I was whiling away a rainy day listening to some Hothouse Flowers and checking out some old videos. I was transported back 25 years ago to Dublin 1985, a trip my cousin and I took primarily to see U2 at Croke Park. We'd been travelling all over the northeast and some of the midwest US to see U2 over 1984/1985 and with Live Aid and a huge show at Croke Park coming up, we were determined to get over there to see the shows. What started off as a trip to see U2, really became so much more and cemented for me my longtime love of Ireland and Irish people.

After all this time I can still remember the excitement and anticipation of leaving for our trip. We were going for a month, had almost no money (but I had a secret weapon, a credit card) and were going to hook up with some English U2 fans from Brighton (Jo and Lynne) who we met on the US tour. The idea was to see U2 at Croke Park but both of us wanted to somehow get to the Live Aid show in London as well, and if possible to see U2 in Rotterdam with Jo and Lynne. Of course things don't always work out like you plan.

We landed in Glasgow and took the train to Stranraer for the ferry crossing to Belfast. I can't really remember why we chose that route instead of going straight to Dublin, but it was probably cheaper. We must have been a sight on the train...I had hair teased to the heavens a la Eddie from the Alarm (who I had the hots for), a suede fringe jacket, and boots with one flapping sole. My cousin had equally teased hair and got more than one comment about her electric, vivid blue eye shadow. If we'd only had a camera back then! The only visual I have from those days is an old passport photo. The laughs we must have gotten once we passed the checkpoints! God how I miss those days...

Well doesn't technology suck sometimes? I was pretty much finished this posting, spent ages on it and with one odd hiccup lost everything past the paragraph above. Now I have to try and remember what I wrote. Grrr...

Anyway...Belfast in 1985 was not a cheery place. I don't remember ever feeling unsafe, but I do remember feeling unsettled. Despite a sunny day everything seemed bleak and grey. We spent the night there and got the train down to Dublin. My cousin reminded me of the razor wire along the train line; the checkpoints were disconcerting, with soldiers and guns reminding us where we were. I've been back to Belfast and the north and have seen some spectacular places but I'm not overly fond of Belfast. To be fair I haven't been back since 1988, I'm sure it's changed incredibly.

In Dublin, we stayed at Isaac's hostel by the Custom House. At the time it was pretty much a dump, packed to the rafters with no doubt other U2 fans coming in for the concert. I vividly remember the Germans walking around naked, the awful showers and toilets, and the totally uncomfortable beds (I swear some had STRAW in them). The whole hostel experience doesn't appeal to me, sharing rooms with a dozen other people. I remember one girl yelling in her sleep "hilfe! hilfe!" (help, in German). I'm pretty sure she got either my cousin's or mine foot up her ass (they were bunkbeds, I can't remember who she was above). One of us shut her up.

I think the Croke Park gig was the day after we got to Dublin. I remember a long walk from the hostel, and streams of excited people the closer we got to the venue. Along with U2 there was the Alarm, Squeeze, In Tua Nua and REM. I can't remember offhand what other bands, if any, there were. It was an amazing concert in part because it was on U2's home turf. The fans were over the top, the opening acts were great (except REM who I hate) and U2 was excellent. To be honest, I don't remember seeing a crappy U2 gig, although I do remember tiring of the stadium shows in general at the end.

I found this video on youtube, supposed to be from the Croke Park gig, and complete with close up of that odd, endearing thing Bono would always do, rocking back and forth on his toes lol:

After the concert our plan was to meet up with Jo and Lynne in England and try to get tickets for Live Aid and to possibly go to Rotterdam; however my cousin's passport was stolen by some wanker at the hostel so we ended up on the horrendous ferry and bus trek to London then going to the embassy to request a new one. We were in London for a grand total of a day. We didn't get to do much except go to Mike Scott's flat to say hello (except he wasn't there so we left a note instead, after snooping around and looking in the windows...sorry Mike!). We headed down to Brighton to stay with Jo but since we had to wait for the replacement passport to be processed Jo and Lynne went off to Rotterdam and left us behind. I think that's when I started to hate them lol. We spent a few days in Brighton but staying with Jo's family without Jo there was awkward and when we knew there was no way we'd get Live Aid tickets we were pretty dejected and just wanted to get back to Dublin, which we finally did after picking up the new passport. The trip back was a lot nicer - we went through Wales and I remember a lot of beautiful scenary. The ferry was horrible as usual.

I was totally in love with Dublin. From the minute we got back there I was so happy again, it felt like I was home. We walked everywhere, exploring places off the beaten track, around the docklands, the canals, but also more touristy areas like Grafton Street, Merrion Square, Trinity College and so many other places. The place was buzzing with so much youth and creativity. On Grafton Street we came across The Incomparable Benzini Brothers - basically Liam and Fiachna from the Hothouse Flowers. They were so fun and we went back often to try and catch them performing. I'm pretty sure Peter and Jerry were busking with them too, at least they were with us when we all went for pints afterwards. I wish I had photos from that trip (no camera) - nowadays we can take photos of anything and everything so easily. I'd love to see some photos of them busking, or of us all just hanging out. There are some later busking videos on youtube (nice one of them doing Hallelujah in Bristol) but I would love to see some early ones.

You couldn't help but love those guys, I will always remember them fondly. They were most definitely a highlight of that trip. We saw them as Hothouse Flowers a few times since then, but I haven't seen them lately. A few years ago I saw Fiachna on tv with Bob Blumer who was doing the "Guinness Diet" - try can catch it if you can, it was a good laugh.

Some random things I remember:

• Cruising around the city like a couple of prats looking for places in U2's Pride video, with my cousin jumping off the stage like Bono

• I couldn't believe how "white" Dublin was. Coming from multicultural Toronto it was a bit of a culture shock. We finally saw one black guy and a couple of chinese people
• Ordering a full Irish in a cafe and having it come with black and white pudding (look it up). We were both "WTF is this stuff" and became adept at hiding it in our napkins and lying about how good it was. I became a vegetarian a few months after our trip. The pudding was definitely nasty and probably contributed to my decision
• Seeing horses still pulling carts in the middle of a really busy street
• Going back often to some odd little pancake house and eating loads of really tasty crepes
• The smell of the Liffey and all the diesel
• The Ha'penny Bridge
• A lot of alarms going off
• The Smarties bus
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Somehow getting out to Howth, walking the whole perimeter and coming across a dog who wanted to follow us home. Hitching a ride back with some cute guy who thankfully wasn't an axe murderer

Eventually it was time to go home. I had the time of my life on that trip and didn't want it to end. Before I left I put an ad in the Hot Press classifieds looking for penpals to keep in touch (oh those prehistoric times) and made two great friends who I cherished and now miss - Nessa, who passed away and Charlie, who I lost touch with over something stupid. I've been back many times and will be back many more; no matter how much it changes I'll always love Dublin.

Young, Naive and Selfish

Aren't you glad that most people grow up and stop being selfish assholes? It's easy to be a jerk when you're young because you're immature and think that nothing bad's going to happen. So you're flippant and sometimes cruel. At least I was. I didn't really mean to be, it was more a reflection of my naiveté and insecurities.

I met Colleen at some concert - I don't remember which one but I remember it was at the Concert Hall, and probably in 1982. Colleen was into Simple Minds like I was into U2. I was happy enough to meet someone who liked almost the same bands I did and it was a nice change to hang out at a show with someone instead of always going on my own.

Colleen was instrumental in helping me start a fanzine.  Fanzines were all over the place in Toronto in the late 70s and early 80s but they were mostly punk-based and didn't reflect the bands we liked. So in early 1983 a few of us (myself, Colleen, my cousin, Anna from my high school,Colleen's friend Leta) decided to put one together. We called it "Terminal Echo" for some bizarre reason. I was at my cousin's the other day and miraculously she had a copy of the first issue. It's pretty embarrassing in a funny way, but we put out quite a few issues and they really got quite good at the end. We would bring copies down to the Peddlar, Records on Wheels, This Ain't the Rosedale Library and a few other places and they'd always sell out.

We (Colleen, myself and my cousin) were always trying to meet bands, either hanging around backstage doors, the Westbury or the Hampton Court Hotel on Jarvis. Bands invariably stayed at one of the two. We'd be on the prowl to say hello, get an autograph, and if we were lucky, hang out for a while. Sometimes we'd stalk the hallways - one of the funniest (probably not for him) was us knocking on Howard Devoto's door and him yelling out in a ticked off drawl, "I'm in the baaaaahth" - I remember running down the hall pissing ourselves laughing (small things amuse small brains).

Colleen was in heaven when we got Charlie Burchill from Simple Minds to sit down and talk to us. They played two shows at Massey Hall - May 9 and 10, 1983. The interview is laughable really, but I remember him being so friendly and approachable and when we weren't doing the interview we were all just hanging out in the courtyard chatting away.

Over the next year things started to change in the friendship; I'm not really sure why at the time. I remember being irritated a lot, was it because my cousin and I were going to more shows and hanging out, and since we were closer we didn't want "outsiders"? I remember a sense of wanting bands to myself (how stupid is that lol!). I thought of this post because I was looking for something and found a letter from Colleen apologizing for us falling out. She had nothing to apologize for, I was the asshole.

See...Colleen had cancer. I look back and realize how incredibly naive I was. I knew something was going on because at one point she had terrible breath and her stomach started protruding...then she found out she had stomach cancer. To be fair I don't think she told me how serious things were in the beginning, and me being the selfish bitch that I was, I just wanted to go to concerts and hang out with bands and do my thing. If she didn't make a big deal out of it, then I wasn't going to.

During the spring/summer of 1984 she had chemo and lost her hair (she joked she would look like her idol Annie Lennox when her hair grew back in) but she managed to come out to a show now and then, especially if it was a band she loved. I think our falling out came about because she got preferential treatment at some shows, and she was also pushy - I remember she basically crashed an interview we were doing with Aztec Camera (how inconsequential it all seems now). I was angry with her and let her know it. Looking back, she must have known how bad things were going for her and she was just seizing every moment she could.

We must have made up as friends. I remember going to visit her in the hospital later on, but honestly I really thought she would just get better. My cousin and I went to see U2 in Ottawa on March 30, 1985. When we crawled into bed the next morning my mom came in and told us that Colleen had died the previous night. I was stunned. I was also ashamed for being so selfish and uncaring. We went to the funeral, but in typical selfish bitch fashion we were down in New Jersey on April 12 to see U2 for string of dates in the US.

I often think of Colleen and how I would like to go back and change things, but I can't. Here's a photo of her with the Icicle Works, around July 1984, after she'd had her chemo.

R.I.P. Colleen. Hard to believe it's been 25 years last month.

There's More to Modern English than I Melt with You

A little more anyway.

Have you ever hated a song so much you have an instant, visceral reaction on hearing the chorus or the first few chords?

Even worse is when that hated song is from a band you really liked. Take U2. I love U2. It's been a long love affair and they'll have to become axe murderers or nazis for me to dislike them. But I HATE Where the Streets Have No Name. I have done ever since I first heard it back in 1987. The Joshua Tree is a great album. That's not a great song. Don't ask me why I hate it so much, I just do. As for Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses? I hate that one the most, it's in a league of its own.

Another song I can't stand is I Melt With You by Modern English. On hearing the chorus (almost always in some crappy commercial) I grit my teeth, tense up, make a fist and hiss "Shit, I hate this song so much"...doesn't matter that there's no one around to say it to. I can't help it, it's automatic now.

I Melt With You is a constant on TV commercials and has been bastardized so much it's likely forever ruined. I heard it again today for some shitty chocolate commercial (probably Hershey's, makers of garbage chocolate). An exceptionally hideous version it was too...so bad it inspired this post.

I first heard Modern English in 1980 when they released the excellent Gathering Dust EP (still one of my most fave Modern English songs ever). Their first album Mesh and Lace sounds dated to me and I don't listen to it often, but their second, After the Snow, is an 80s masterpiece and one of my favourites.

I didn't always hate I Melt With You (it does have lovely jangly guitars in the beginning) but it was my least favourite song on the album...in some ways it doesn't even fit. After the Snow is a gorgeous album (just listen to Dawn Chorus) - that it's near impossible to find links to most of the other songs is a indication of it falling through the cracks of music history, but you can preview the album and see for yourself how good it is (or remind yourself that you used to love it and should dig it out again). The version available now has a bunch of extras on it, but the album proper is the first eight songs, including the excellent Someone's Calling:

Looking at all the other Modern English releases, After the Snow does definitely seem to be an anomaly. I mean let's get real here, they've put out a lot of BAD music. I don't know how they managed to put out Gathering Dust and After the Snow and yet go on to produce such cringingly horrible songs like Hands Across the Sea. Shudder. I've tried skimming through later releases looking for a spark of the old band, but really the songs just made me sad. I hope I didn't miss some newer masterpiece. I'd love to be proven wrong.

I Melt With You somehow ended up in the movie Valley Girl and got a huge amount of airplay in the States. They came at some point in 1983...I can't find the exact date or even where they played, but my cousin and I would've gone to see them. We most definitely tracked them down to get an interview for our fanzine (that's another post) because we ended up hanging out with Robbie Grey and Mick Conroy on the patio of the old Westbury on Yonge Street. I remember absolutely nothing about the concert, but I do remember they were really nice guys and that we spent an enjoyable afternoon in the sun chatting away.

When Modern English were good, they were REALLY good. But when they were bad...well...let's just say I sure hope that they're at least making a lot of money off I Melt With You. Perhaps if it ever stops being used in crappy commercials I might give it a chance again.

Where The Hell Does Time Go Anyway?

Do you ever feel that 25 (hell, 30...THIRTY????!!!) years ago was just like yesterday? I've been feeling that a lot lately. It leaves me in a bit of a daze really, mostly unwilling to accept the reality of it.

A while ago I decided that I need to get rid of "stuff". One of the big jobs was to get all my CDs onto my laptop. I'm old enough that I bought a record on vinyl, then on tape, then on CD and some even on MP3 (some artists made a lot of money out of me. Then again, it's more likely the evil record companies made the money...).

Popular music has always mostly sucked and now it's even worse than ever. Do I want to hear another 14 year old whinging about something pointless? Nope. Last night I was moaning about how shitty it was to get "older" but how extremely lucky I feel I was to have lived through the frenzy and excitement of punk and new wave. Sure, there were some crap bands back then too (lots even) but there's very little of that freshness and pure exhilaration nowadays with all the constructed stars and their shit music for the masses. Of course there are some great bands now too...it's not all negative.

Ripping my CDs got me thinking about music and how much fun I had. Toronto was a fantastic place to be to experience alternative music in the late 70s/early 80s, mostly thanks to radio like CFNY...thank god for Dave Marsden-led CFNY where the DJs played whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted - who doesn't remember the punk mixed with classical? Who doesn't remember the seriously weird Toast by the Streetband (and a baby-faced Paul Young)? When CFNY started changing around 1983, CKLN and CBC late night (Neon, Brave New Waves) were my saviours. I have my sister to thank for turning me on to CFNY. Back when they broadcast out of a tiny house in Brampton (we even went all the way up there a few times to hang out).

I was pretty much an outsider growing up in Scarborough (AKA Scarberia) - most of the kids in my highschool were firmly into 70s bands like Rush, Triumph, Styx (shudder), Supertramp etc. But my sister and her friends were cool and started getting into the Sex Pistols and CFNY. Although I went to a few shows with her, I was mostly on my own, making the long and boring trip from Scarborough to downtown for concerts and weekly visits to the Record Peddlar to get the latest issues of NME, Melody Maker and other newspapers from the UK that cost the earth for me, but I devoured them from cover to cover. I paid for them by babysitting kids I hated. How's that for dedication? Then there was the cost of imported records. Did I mentioned how much I hated the kids? It was worth it though...Anyway, my sister drifted off to other things but later on my cousin and best friend became my partner in fun, and did we ever have fun. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I was privileged to see some incredible concerts and meet a lot of bands. I hardly ever go to a concert anymore but by and in 1981 (a particular awesome year for concerts) I was probably seeing two shows a week at the Concert Hall, Larry's Hideaway, the Edge (Egertons), Ryerson Theatre etc. Didn't matter that I was underage! I used to have a scrapbook with all my tickets, backstage passes, photos, news clippings etc. but I "lost" that in a move 7 years ago. It truly gutted me to lose that collection, it was so special to me ( I get teary just thinking of it!). It also helped me to remember my experiences. I was thinking I should probably write some of my memories down before they fade into the past so why not share with others and hope they share their experiences back. And if no one reads this at least I've written it all down. There's probably no point in doing this chronologically, I might as well just post about whatever I remember at the time or based on whatever music I pull out.

I loved music early on, I remember being glued to the radio and listening to stuff like Sweet, the Babys, Al Stewart, T.Rex, Led Zeppelin (oooh shivers!) on some tinny, shitty AM radio.

Despite the lack of hi fidelity the airwaves still crackled with excitement for me. But the end of the 70s was starting to get pretty bleak music-wise (though I did get sucked into liking the odd disco song).

When I started listening to CFNY in 1978 I felt like I was being shaken from some sort of stupor...the stuff coming in over the airwaves was absolutely electric.

God, how I loved the Buzzcocks! So much amazing music pouring out of the radio...Ultravox! - the version fronted John Foxx - Ha! Ha! Ha! hasn't left my all time top 10 list since it came out. Magazine, Gang of Four, Ian Dury, Joy Division, Brian Eno, Tubeway Army, the Cure (pre Lovecats only for me), XTC, Squeeze, the Slits, the Stranglers (no one does crunchy, growling bass like J J Burnel), Sparks...the list is endless.

Even when I was younger, I always had an extreme bias towards bands from the UK but to be fair there were some great "local" bands. I still love Tired of Waking Up Tired by my favourite local band, the Diodes, but there was also Drastic Measures, Nash the Slash and ummm...yeah there must have been more. Ok, I hated most local bands.

1979 was the start of a lifelong love affair with U2, though nothing beats the earlier days. Was lucky to see them at Ryerson Theatre in 1981 and Massey Hall. Much preferred those shows to the stadiums.

However, I think the honour of the first band post needs to go to Japan, my most favourite band in the late 70s. Party at the Domino Club. Got to meet the band. Got to meet Mick Karn at the Royal York Hotel. Two shows at the Ryerson Theatre, November 1979. Huge crush on Richard Barbieri.

And the song that started it all...